What Advice Would You Give Your Younger Self?

What Advice Would You Give Your Younger Self?

I just saw the movie “Eighth Grade” (see trailer Here) with one of my friends. My daughter just finished junior high, and her son is starting 8^th. I thought I would use this movie as an insight into the life of the young adolescent in today’s time and use it to better connect with my own teens. What my friend and I found ourselves doing was reminiscing about how awkward and unsure we were at that age. These themes of feeling insecure, uncool, wanting to be popular (while also wanting to be invisible), etc. seem to be timeless.

Junior high was a time in my life I’d like to forget. Body changes, peer pressure, not wanting boys to know I was smart were tiny in comparison to the 5 ½ months spent with half of my body in a cast! I underwent scoliosis surgery and was in a cast from my upper chest, under my arms, and halfway down my hips for almost half of my 7^th grade year! Fun times. I worried my social life would be over; friends would abandon me; and I’d be the topic of many jokes.

My 13th Birthday with my mom and grandmother. My cast is peeping out of the top of my shirt.

Luckily for me, this was the mid 1980’s, and oversized, long, boxy button-down shirts worn over stretchy stirrup pants were the fashion trend. Thankfully I could find clothing to fit over my cast, but I looked like I was ready to take the football field in full pads! My androgynous short hair cut wasn’t doing me any favors either. I will say that this time taught me empathy I might not have gained otherwise. I learned that it’s ok to be different. I learned that my friends liked me for me, not for how I looked. I learned that some kids can be cruel, but it’s ok. The most popular 8^th grader cornered me on the landing of the stairs at school, and with all his friends around, started making Hunchback of Notre Dame jokes at me. I remember thinking I wanted to cry and run away, but I refused to give him the satisfaction of having an impact on me. I mustered all of my courage, crossed my arms, looked as bored as I could, stared directly at him, and sarcastically said, “Wow! That’s is soooo original. I would have never thought of that. I was expecting a turtle joke.” The look on his face was priceless. He left tongue-tied with his friends laughing at him. Even better was when I was a freshman and he was a sophomore, he kept flirting with me and asking me out. I wouldn’t give him the time of day because I knew that he wasn’t nice or worth my time.

Now fast forward more than 30 years, and I feel like if I could go back and time, I’d love to give my younger self some advice.

Use sunscreen, not baby oil, when out in the sun. Your older skin will thank you!

Always try to have fun and make the most of every situation we find ourselves in. Why did I look so miserable at my birthday party? Why did my little sister look so miserable at my birthday party? Maybe no one got me a My Little Pony; who knows?

This looks more like a funeral than my 8th birthday! I want to know why. Did I block something traumatic from my memory?

Appreciate all of the time spent studying. Knowledge is power. Your education will take you so much further if you apply yourself.

Studying is good for you! Parents are correct on this one!

Don’t be afraid to take a fashion risk. My father HATED this outfit and actually took this picture to show me when I was older how terrible it was. Guess what? I still remember how cute I felt in it. Our choice in clothing can help us exude confidence. The way we dress says a lot about us and, for better or worse, how we are treated by others.

My absolute favorite junior high outfit. I’m not sure why, though!

Save more and spend less. Spending money on “things” never results in lasting happiness. Time spent doing enjoyable activities makes for a better life. Take a moment to enjoy a good cup of tea and contemplate priorities.

Let’s have a tea party instead of shopping!

Know everything happens for a reason. We may not know the reason now, but we learn from everything we do and that happens to us. Relationships come and go, but we always take something away from them to use to help future relationships.

My high school boyfriend taught me a lot about what I wanted in a partner and how I expected to be treated.

Get a pair of tweezers! Joking aside, I would tell myself that taking care of our outward appearance reflects how well we feel about ourselves on the inside. There is a difference between vanity and pride.

Don’t let anyone steal your sunshine. Be yourself! Being authentic allows us to have true, lasting relationships with deep roots because we aren’t changing ourselves for someone else.

One of the million reasons I love my sister is that she is always ready to go along with whatever crazy idea I have.

Most importantly, I would tell my younger self not to sweat the small stuff. Anything we are experiencing is just a blip on the radar of our lives, and it will pass. We need to push through, learn our lesson, and move on. As an example, look at the changes from 6^th-9^th grade for me. The changes weren’t just on the outside. As we mature, we learn so much about who we are and how we can help others.

Almost everyone goes through an awkward phase…It’s not permanent.

What advice would you give your younger self? Please comment! We would love to hear from you! We appreciate your support and would love if you like, share, and comment!

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