Summer is for Life Lessons! What??

Summer is for Sleeping In and Life Lessons

Kids look forward to summer all year long. The reward of long days spent sleeping late, lounging, and having fun without a schedule or homework keeps them focused just enough on completing their work during the school year. Kids need time to unwind and deserve a break. However, they don’t have to stop learning.

It’s summer! How many times have you heard your kids exclaim, “I’m bored!” just before they flop dramatically onto the couch? Meanwhile, most parents are feeling like they can’t keep up with all of the chores, activities, and meals. How can teens eat so much (and how can I get their metabolism)?

If the kids are bored, and you’re overwhelmed, use the summer to teach these kids “domestic dexterity” and delegate some of the responsibilities. The hustle and bustle of school, part-time jobs, sports, and other extra-curricular activities may not leave a lot of time for kids to contribute around the house, but summer is an excellent time to instill some life skills.

At the end of my oldest son’s junior year of high school, I read an article about the things teens need to know before going to college. It was an eye-opener, realizing that my son only had a year left at home to learn some major life lessons. Luckily, he has always been a fast learner and managed to grow competent quickly. He just finished his sophomore year of college and can cook, clean, do laundry, manage his finances, and keep good grades.

Since that summer three years ago, we have focused on having fun in the summer while also learning how to be more responsible and independent. After all, as parents, it is our duty to raise children who can be happy, contributing members of society who are able to stand on their own two feet (and not live in our basements playing video games).

Here are some essential and easy to learn life skills:

• Cooking – The kids have helped with cooking since they were old enough to stand on a step stool next to us in the kitchen, but they rarely have complete control, relegated to the role of sous chef. While on vacation this summer with my sister and her family, the parents got a little tired of doing all of the meal planning and cooking, so we turned the job over to the kids for an evening. The kids did a wonderful job, and we all enjoyed Taco Tuesday! I have implemented that at home this summer. I have asked the kids to plan and cook a dinner each week. Their meals have to be well-balanced, within a budget, and prepared on time. I’m available for guidance but not for clean-up! They are even making amazing lunches too. It is nice to spend time together in the kitchen!

• Dishes – Putting their own dishes in the dishwasher has been on their chore list for a while, but they don’t do a lot with pots and pans that need to be hand washed. They have been known to leave a glass in the sink while putting their breakfast dishes away because it wasn’t their glass. Now, without asking, they’ll put everything away. They work together to empty the dishwasher.

• Cleaning – Keeping a clean (not perfect) house is important to me, and I want to pass that along to the kids. They all contribute to cleaning bathrooms and floors, dusting, and general tidying-up. Of course, I usually have to give them a list of what I want done and when I expect it to be completed. Very few people would volunteer to clean a toilet!

• Laundry – My kids have sorted their own dirty laundry and put their clothes away for a very long time, but I usually wash and fold the loads, since I’m at home more than they are. During the summer, they are responsible for doing all of their laundry. That includes sorting, stain-treating, washing, drying, hanging delicates to dry, folding, and putting it all away. They will iron under extreme duress, but I at least want them to know how to do it.

• Going through Closets – When my oldest came home from college for the summer, he brought with him about 75-80 tee shirts. I asked him how many of them he actually wore and told him he needed to reduce that number ASAP. After donating a mountain of clothing, he admitted that it was crazy to hold onto things for so long, and he was happy to send them on to someone who could actually use them. That’s a double lesson: compassion and cleanliness!

• Using a Calendar – Like nearly every family in the country, we are busy, being pulled in many directions. It is imperative that we keep a family calendar to make sure everyone gets where they need to go. We use an online Google calendar, and there are many options out there. The kids are responsible for putting their own events on there (with reminders, so we don’t forget). Their minds are better than mine, so they argue that they don’t need to put everything on it. I argue (nag) that since I’m the transportation, it needs to be on the calendar. I need the reminders! My ex-husband also has access, so we are all able to be on the same page, and it fosters better communication. The beauty of the shared online calendar is that is on everyone’s phones, and if we know one thing about teens, they don’t go anywhere without their phones. (If I could only keep them from taking their phones into the bathroom! Gross!)

• Yard Work – When we all work in the yard together, it makes a mundane chore much more enjoyable and quicker. I am hoping that the lesson learned is that we have to take care of the things we have. This is the first year we haven’t planted a garden, but in the past, the kids enjoyed eating fresh veggies. Again, this is a chore that they do not jump with joy to do, but it is still important.

• Travel – Taking trips is a great way to reconnect as a family, and proper planning helps the process run smoothly. We ask for the kids’ input on where to go, what to do, and how to work within our budget. For the trip with my sister’s family, my niece researched the zip-lining adventure she wanted us to do and had the website, physical address, price, and length of time to complete the course. The kids researched places to hike. While traveling, I ask the kids to navigate at the airport, getting us through check-in, security, and to the gate. When we arrive, they lead us to baggage claim and to the rental car. Using GPS is very important too.

• Basic Automobile Knowledge – When I learned to drive, my dad made me change a tire, check tire tread and air pressure, prove that I knew how to check the oil and other fluids, and calculate my gas mileage. I drew the line at learning to change my own oil, but the more we learn about our vehicles, the safer we will be. I currently have one driver, one learning, and one on her way to learning. I need to make sure to pass along these skills.

• Party Planning – I know this doesn’t sound like a necessary skill, but it is nice to know how to entertain responsibly. My daughter has a summer birthday, so she created her own evite for her pool party, managed the guest list and RSVPs, planned the menu and decorations (within a budget), and activities. The day of the party, she gathered a small team to help get everything ready and worked hard cleaning up after. I was very proud of her. I told her that she had to hand-write thank you notes to her friends, and she wanted to send a generic group text. I said that everyone needed a personal thank you, and since she didn’t have everyone’s physical address to mail a card, she hand wrote notes, took a picture of each one, and texted it to each attendee. I’m not sure what Emily Post would say about that, but I think it’s pretty efficient and creative way to get the thank you notes to the recipients.

All of these activities have allowed us to spend more time together as a family. I have enjoyed getting a bigger glimpse into their thoughts and feelings. I hope they are becoming more appreciative of what goes into running a household. Learning independence gives them the confidence and skills they need to succeed in life. Rest assured, they are still sleeping in and playing lots of video games!

There are so many other things that our children need to learn, and by no means is this list meant to be exhaustive. These are just some ideas to integrate into your summer. Know that my kids, like the rest of us, are a work in progress. They don’t jump at the chance to help around the house, but I want to ensure that they learn how to take care of themselves and their homes.

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