Regain Control of Life

Feeling Overwhelmed? 6 Ways to Regain Control of Life

Honestly, I’ve come to the realization that I have somewhat let myself go over the past few years. It’s not something I really want to admit, and I’m certainly not proud of it. I’ve put on some weight, stopped eating as healthy as I used to, and have drastically reduced the time I spend exercising. Reality smacked me in the face when I saw candid pictures my daughter had taken of me. While they were unflattering and highlighted my double chin, I just looked so tired in all of them! I think I’m actually starting to look like our English Bulldog!

Today at church, my priest discussed the importance to take care of our spiritual needs with our mind and body because we have a soul and a physical body that both need nourishment. This doesn’t just apply to attending a worship service. I heard these words as a call to action for myself!

I decided that I need to start nurturing myself. No matter what our role is in life, we all have someone who depends on us. I have a husband, 3 kids, 2 dogs, extended family, and many friends. Although it isn’t my sole responsibility to take care of everyone, I enjoy helping others want to maintain strong relationships within my community. What I see a little more clearly is that I (and probably you too) am guilty of putting everyone else’s wants and needs ahead of my own on a regular basis. For example, I sat down this morning and made daily to-do list. Of the 12 things on my list, only 1 related to me, and it was writing this article. The rest were doing things for other people. Not surprisingly, I had a few other things pop up that also needed my assistance. I have checked off all of my items on my list, except for writing. I put it last, and now I am up past my bedtime working on this to meet my (self-imposed) deadline to publish.

Upon reflection of my current situation, I have realized that my issues are not unique to myself; so many others are feeling depleted too. What can we do to make our situations better? I came up with these 6 steps to regain control of life:

• Reevaluate – Take some time to look into our own lifestyle. Where do we feel successful? What aspects need improvement? Are there things we do that are no longer meaningful to us? Where do we find joy?
• Prioritize – We need to figure out what is most important to us, and make those things a priority. Realizing that our priorities change should remind us that assessing them often is important.
• Delegate – This is very difficult for many of us. Trying to hand off what we feel are our responsibilities can seem like we are shirking our duties. We aren’t being lazy; we are allowing others to join in and strengthen their role in our group dynamic.
• Accept (and expect) Imperfection – I’ll be the first to admit I am a control freak, and I battle the strong desire to “fix” the “mistakes” others have made loading the dishwasher, folding the clothes, making the bed, etc. We have to ask ourselves if it really matters how the bathroom got clean, as long as it is clean?
• Say “No!” – It is perfectly acceptable to say “no” to invitations to chair a committee, watch a friend’s cat, or go to a late movie if we don’t have the time or desire to devote ourselves to adding one more thing on our plates.
• Schedule – Our time is valuable. We only have 24 hours in a day, and a large part of that needs to be spent sleeping. Keeping a schedule that aligns with our priorities is a must!

Opening myself up to letting these steps guide me towards a better life has helped me realize many things. Taking care of my family is my top priority, and my actions need to reflect the importance of my family. The real eye-opener is that I need to take care of myself to be in the best position to support my family. Letting myself go is not an option. I have to take charge of my physical health and mental well-being, and make those things a true priority. A candid conversation with my family is on my agenda, so I can discuss how I have been feeling and enlist their help and support. Delegating some of my responsibilities (even if they aren’t done to my standards) to others will free up time to focus on getting my life back on track. Saying “no” to requests that don’t fit easily into my schedule is necessary to allow time for me to take care of my body’s need for exercise, good nutrition, adequate sleep, and routine healthcare and my mind’s need for stimulation through reading, writing, and engaging with friends and family. Taking the time to create and operate on a schedule serves to keep me on-task, once again providing evidence that organization can help solve just about everything! I can be Wonder Woman, but not without the help of my friends and family of superheroes!

Please join my journey and regain control of your life. Share your ways to keep your actions in line with your priorities. Watch for updates! I’m going to take control of making my life the best it can be, and I hope you do too!

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